Það er skammgóður vermir að pissa í skó sinn

We’ve all experienced those moments when life throws us curveballs, leaving us feeling bitter and resentful towards the world and sometimes even towards ourselves. Life’s unpredictability can be tough to swallow, but despite its unfairness, there are ways to navigate through it and find moments of contentment, perhaps even joy.

But how do we do that?

When we find ourselves immersed in the bleak depths of anhedonia, constantly at risk of being overwhelmed by sorrow and despair, it’s easy to fall prey to nihilism and deep pessimism. Yet, if you can muster the strength to endure these awful waves of unease, you’ll eventually be alright. I can assure you of that.

Let me share what has worked for me. I’ve never been the epitome of happiness. Perhaps it’s a quirk of my brain chemistry, but I’ve always tended towards melancholy and dissatisfaction, often without any proper cause. I would often question this inner emptiness of mine and feel almost “wrong” and defected. This never really changed that much, I’ve always been kind of a schizoid, but most of the time I could just brush it off and go on with my day. At times though, it hurts more than it should, and the more you feel pain, the bitterer you become.

The tragic part is that it’s almost as if you become attached to the sadness in a way, you begin fetishizing melancholy, which only amplifies its grip on you. Depending on your thought patterns, you may realize you’re inadvertently self-sabotaging, harboring a subconscious desire to remain in a state of perpetual stagnation. You may think it’s really unusual or even absurd, but it’s a trap I eventually got myself into.

So, the first step is to firmly commit to the idea that you WANT to be happier. This isn’t merely a casual wish—it requires your full conviction, because once you embrace this mindset, you’re already halfway there. All that’s left is to take that crucial step forward, ideally with a clear goal to strive towards.

The importance of consistency

What has truly made a difference for me is a simple routine: every single morning, without fail, I make a conscious effort to tidy my bedroom, make my bed, feed my pets, get some sunlight and then prepare for the day ahead. Nothing fancy here, right? Just a simple, trivial task you could do in a matter of few minutes. But oh boy if it makes a difference.

Little-by-little, I began feeling like I had control over myself and my overall mood, which undeniably felt great! From there, you can escalate, even setting out a schedule or a list of tasks to complete during the course of the day. The first days, this felt weird and unnatural, but as time passed I grew used to it and it became second nature.

Everytime I would see my bedroom neat and tidy I would unironically feel proud of myself. Every sip of coffee I took while sitting in the garden and petting my cat felt like the beginning of a joyous day. I began reading many books, several dozens of pages in few hours, day after day. I would devour 1000+ pages tomes in a matter of weeks. I would work-out every single day, eat healthy foods, keep track of calories, take care of my plants et cetera. No matter what you keep yourself busy with, you simply gotta do something! Do you think things will get better on their own without you putting effort into anything? I’m sorry to inform you that this is not the case.

There’s an icelandic proverb that goes as follows:

Það er skammgóður vermir að pissa í skó sinn

which basically translates to “peeing in your shoes will only keep you warm for a short while”.

The more you indulge in self-pity and unhealthy habits that offer temporary relief, the worse you’ll feel. It’s a never-ending vicious cycle— the more you wallow in negativity, the angrier and more bitter you’ll become. Nurture kindness towards the world, those around you, and especially towards yourself.

"Eppure sentire, nei fiori tra l'asfalto, nei cieli di cobalto"

Depending on your inner thoughts, beliefs, needs, and instincts, you might be inclined towards different things compared to other people.

I wouldn’t label myself as particularly ambitious, but I still felt a longing for something more. I yearned to explore both new and familiar hobbies, to delve into interests that piqued my curiosity, and above all, to discover a true passion that I could wholeheartedly dedicate myself to.

For me, that passion has always been computer science, and it continues to be so today. Whenever I immerse myself in programming or explore new and old operating systems, algorithms, computer architectures, network designs and in general new concepts, it’s as if time rewinds, and I’m transported back to the wonder of childhood discovery, without the sadness of it. Having such a passion makes me feel truly alive—it gives purpose to my days and imbues them with meaning. The constant desire to learn and maybe even excel in my field propels me forward, pushing me to become really good at what I do.

Eat the Elephant

You know the saying, “Eat the elephant”? It’s all about tackling big tasks by breaking them into smaller, more manageable steps. Sounds almost kind of cheesy, right? Something you’d read in a dumb-ass article (like this one) about motivation and self-help. But it really does work.

Setting goals and staying committed to them is incredibly powerful. It’s not just about going through the motions every day; it’s about having a clear idea of what you want and going after it with everything you’ve got, even when things get tough.

Every little step you take, no matter how small, brings you closer to your dreams. And with each step, you build momentum and confidence. No matter what you aim to be and/or do, don’t be afraid to dream big and take those small, steady steps towards making those dreams a reality.

It’s simple. It’s effective. It’s worth it.